bumper pool
by Mrs. D @ catching the paper boySo much of humor depends on familiarity with the situation. The annoying, yet once funny, “Can you hear me now?” commercials rely on your understanding that cell phone coverage universally sucks, but we use them anyway.
With that being said, you will find the following story is funny if you:
1. Are a swimmer
2. Have swum open lap swim at a community pool
3. Know what “long course” means
4. Have ever driven on a freeway in Los Angeles
This morning, long course at Fremont again, and I’ve tried to find a lane with the most advanced swimmers hoping that they’ll understand the general flow of a swim set. I climb in with two folks successfully circle swimming and begin my workout (200 warm-up, 400 drills, then on to 500s, etc.). The warm-up and drills go well enough, no hurry there, and I’m on to my first of two 500s at a steady pace. By now, there are five of us in the lane.
Things become a little like full-contact swimming from here. During the first 100, I pass a rotund breast stroker. At the end of the first 100, I come into the wall only to be cut in front of by a sluggish, heads-up swimmer. I exchange, “well nows” with the two folks waiting at the end of my lane, and one gal in the lane over.
During the second 100 I immediately pass Miss Heads Up and find Mr Breaststroker again. Unfortunately, they’re heading towards each other and I have to thread the gap.
During the third 100, all four of my lane mates are circling: Ms Kickboard becomes Ms Breaststroke, Mr Rotund continues to kick wildly to the side, Miss Heads Up inconsistently waits at the end, and the Divine Ms “10 x 100s on the 2:15” knows when to say when.
The fourth and fifth 100 are like swimming an Ironman course, but with folks going both directions. I’m speeding up. I’m slowing down. I’m passing at my lactate threshold. I’m desperately trying not to get either kicked in the side or cracked in the head. One cannot use the Ironman Rollover in this situation, it would send your careening into the next lane. And, to try touching the toes of a madly kicking breaststroker is like sticking your hand in a wheat thresher.
I end the first 500 completely out of breath and feeling like I was a stunt driver in “Slide”: Totally amped in a not-so-healthy way. The remaining yards were completed at the assigned pace: steady or fast or with minimal strokes. Most of my comrade combatants had left by my cool-down.
The upside is: Now we have a great in-pool open-water swim drill.
With that being said, you will find the following story is funny if you:
1. Are a swimmer
2. Have swum open lap swim at a community pool
3. Know what “long course” means
4. Have ever driven on a freeway in Los Angeles
This morning, long course at Fremont again, and I’ve tried to find a lane with the most advanced swimmers hoping that they’ll understand the general flow of a swim set. I climb in with two folks successfully circle swimming and begin my workout (200 warm-up, 400 drills, then on to 500s, etc.). The warm-up and drills go well enough, no hurry there, and I’m on to my first of two 500s at a steady pace. By now, there are five of us in the lane.
Things become a little like full-contact swimming from here. During the first 100, I pass a rotund breast stroker. At the end of the first 100, I come into the wall only to be cut in front of by a sluggish, heads-up swimmer. I exchange, “well nows” with the two folks waiting at the end of my lane, and one gal in the lane over.
During the second 100 I immediately pass Miss Heads Up and find Mr Breaststroker again. Unfortunately, they’re heading towards each other and I have to thread the gap.
During the third 100, all four of my lane mates are circling: Ms Kickboard becomes Ms Breaststroke, Mr Rotund continues to kick wildly to the side, Miss Heads Up inconsistently waits at the end, and the Divine Ms “10 x 100s on the 2:15” knows when to say when.
The fourth and fifth 100 are like swimming an Ironman course, but with folks going both directions. I’m speeding up. I’m slowing down. I’m passing at my lactate threshold. I’m desperately trying not to get either kicked in the side or cracked in the head. One cannot use the Ironman Rollover in this situation, it would send your careening into the next lane. And, to try touching the toes of a madly kicking breaststroker is like sticking your hand in a wheat thresher.
I end the first 500 completely out of breath and feeling like I was a stunt driver in “Slide”: Totally amped in a not-so-healthy way. The remaining yards were completed at the assigned pace: steady or fast or with minimal strokes. Most of my comrade combatants had left by my cool-down.
The upside is: Now we have a great in-pool open-water swim drill.
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bumper pool
by Mrs. D @ catching the paper boySo much of humor depends on familiarity with the situation. The annoying, yet once funny, “Can you hear me now?” commercials rely on your understanding that cell phone coverage universally sucks, but we use them anyway.
With that being said, you will find the following story is funny if you:
1. Are a swimmer
2. Have swum open lap swim at a community pool
3. Know what “long course” means
4. Have ever driven on a freeway in Los Angeles
This morning, long course at Fremont again, and I’ve tried to find a lane with the most advanced swimmers hoping that they’ll understand the general flow of a swim set. I climb in with two folks successfully circle swimming and begin my workout (200 warm-up, 400 drills, then on to 500s, etc.). The warm-up and drills go well enough, no hurry there, and I’m on to my first of two 500s at a steady pace. By now, there are five of us in the lane.
Things become a little like full-contact swimming from here. During the first 100, I pass a rotund breast stroker. At the end of the first 100, I come into the wall only to be cut in front of by a sluggish, heads-up swimmer. I exchange, “well nows” with the two folks waiting at the end of my lane, and one gal in the lane over.
During the second 100 I immediately pass Miss Heads Up and find Mr Breaststroker again. Unfortunately, they’re heading towards each other and I have to thread the gap.
During the third 100, all four of my lane mates are circling: Ms Kickboard becomes Ms Breaststroke, Mr Rotund continues to kick wildly to the side, Miss Heads Up inconsistently waits at the end, and the Divine Ms “10 x 100s on the 2:15” knows when to say when.
The fourth and fifth 100 are like swimming an Ironman course, but with folks going both directions. I’m speeding up. I’m slowing down. I’m passing at my lactate threshold. I’m desperately trying not to get either kicked in the side or cracked in the head. One cannot use the Ironman Rollover in this situation, it would send your careening into the next lane. And, to try touching the toes of a madly kicking breaststroker is like sticking your hand in a wheat thresher.
I end the first 500 completely out of breath and feeling like I was a stunt driver in “Slide”: Totally amped in a not-so-healthy way. The remaining yards were completed at the assigned pace: steady or fast or with minimal strokes. Most of my comrade combatants had left by my cool-down.
The upside is: Now we have a great in-pool open-water swim drill.
With that being said, you will find the following story is funny if you:
1. Are a swimmer
2. Have swum open lap swim at a community pool
3. Know what “long course” means
4. Have ever driven on a freeway in Los Angeles
This morning, long course at Fremont again, and I’ve tried to find a lane with the most advanced swimmers hoping that they’ll understand the general flow of a swim set. I climb in with two folks successfully circle swimming and begin my workout (200 warm-up, 400 drills, then on to 500s, etc.). The warm-up and drills go well enough, no hurry there, and I’m on to my first of two 500s at a steady pace. By now, there are five of us in the lane.
Things become a little like full-contact swimming from here. During the first 100, I pass a rotund breast stroker. At the end of the first 100, I come into the wall only to be cut in front of by a sluggish, heads-up swimmer. I exchange, “well nows” with the two folks waiting at the end of my lane, and one gal in the lane over.
During the second 100 I immediately pass Miss Heads Up and find Mr Breaststroker again. Unfortunately, they’re heading towards each other and I have to thread the gap.
During the third 100, all four of my lane mates are circling: Ms Kickboard becomes Ms Breaststroke, Mr Rotund continues to kick wildly to the side, Miss Heads Up inconsistently waits at the end, and the Divine Ms “10 x 100s on the 2:15” knows when to say when.
The fourth and fifth 100 are like swimming an Ironman course, but with folks going both directions. I’m speeding up. I’m slowing down. I’m passing at my lactate threshold. I’m desperately trying not to get either kicked in the side or cracked in the head. One cannot use the Ironman Rollover in this situation, it would send your careening into the next lane. And, to try touching the toes of a madly kicking breaststroker is like sticking your hand in a wheat thresher.
I end the first 500 completely out of breath and feeling like I was a stunt driver in “Slide”: Totally amped in a not-so-healthy way. The remaining yards were completed at the assigned pace: steady or fast or with minimal strokes. Most of my comrade combatants had left by my cool-down.
The upside is: Now we have a great in-pool open-water swim drill.